Dulwich Divorcee

I have a confession to make – there’s something new in my life. Tall, dark and handsome, brooding in the kitchen, dominating meal times and, to be honest, my every waking thought … it’s my new Vitamix mixer.

We met, of all places, at a demonstration at the Ideal Home exhibition. I never go to food preparation demos – I already have enough gizmo peelers and so-called revolutionary choppers and beaters to kit out several kitchens. But this one caught my eye. The lady demonstrator whipped up a smoothie, a hot soup and an ice cream in seconds flat, then followed that with a frothy coffee. Yes, the machine did growl like a demented cement mixer, but hey, nobody’s perfect. The price, too, was an eye-watering affair. But if anyone needs a super-powerful blender, it’s this lumpy blended family. Reader, I ordered one.

It took over a week to arrive, which made me realise how impatient I’ve become, courtesy of Amazon Prime and John Lews’s excellent delivery service. Usually, if I see it, and want it, it’s mine within 24 hours. This time I was dying to get my hands on the Vitamix. I even rang customer services (usually only resorted to if something is in flames) and spoke to a lovely reassuring American chap who finished off our chat by giving me the tip that you should roast the nuts first if you’re making peanut butter. ‘I’m so excited for you getting your Vitamix!’ he said as we bade each other farewell – and he genuinely did sound thrilled for me.

Luckily, it arrived the next day and we have been inseparable ever since. I start the day with frothy coffee, move on to porridge with fruit and nuts, then start making houmous, soup, peanut butter, rosti potato cakes, smoothies, ice cream, pesto and more soup, until we all cannot eat another thing. One of my greatest successes so far has been a cake. Not cooked in the Vitamix, as there are some things (not many) that it can’t do. But I whipped the mixture up to stratospheric heights in it, then baked the cake as normal in the oven, producing one of the lightest and airiest sponges I’ve made.

Truly, the Vitamix and I have become inseparable. But, like all good things, it probably can’t last. Yesterday Child Two begged for a meal that hadn’t been Vitamixed. I conceded, and very nice it was too. Though I did sneak a little kale into the pesto, via you-know-who. Don’t tell.