13. January 2015

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Votive of thanks

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It’s hard to know what to say when a child confesses they’ve been awake all night worrying that you’re going to die. So I did what any good parent would do – and lied my head off. ‘Of course I’m not going to die. What a ridiculous idea,’ I blustered, knowing all the while that:

a) we are all going to die, actually; and

b) some of us are going to do it sooner than others.

That doesn’t have to include me, though. Having spent months worrying about exactly the question that kept my poor dear child awake, I have now decided that I just don’t have any interest at all in worrying about death any more. I’m not even (that) scared about the upcoming operation next week. Before the last one I was all aquiver, convinced I was going to die on the operating table or, probably, as soon as I had the general anaesthetic.

As it turned out, the chief anaesthetist didn’t show up (apparently he was waiting to be called or something …. I know, little bit lame) so I had the operation under a local anaesthetic. The plastic surgeon said it would be fine. ‘They do this operation under locals all the time …. in some countries,’ he said, swishing his Hermes tie and avoiding my eyes. I very carefully didn’t ask which countries, having a clear (and almost certainly completely unfair) vision of burning sun, corrugated metal huts and a distinct lack of quinoa in the local supermarkets, and he certainly didn’t volunteer the information. It wasn’t nice, and now I am positively looking forward to the general anaesthetic and plenty of top-notch painkillers afterwards.

And that, God willing, should be that. Just a lot of checks and scans and I should be fine. As fine as any of us are in a world where stuff will keep on happening. It was a good moment for the doorbell to ring and the postman to proffer a lovely box. Four votive candles from the Yankee Candle folk, smelling deliciously of shea butter, cassis, grapefruit and aloe water, in a container marked Happiness. Just what the doctor ordered. Thank you, Yankee lovelies and thank you, universe.

votive

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13. January 2015

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Dos and Don’ts at Christmas

It’s been a while, what with all the medical stuff – in a nutshell, there’s another operation to get through in January, then that should be IT. There’s no radiotherapy or chemo with melanoma as it doesn’t work, so I might try to get on a drugs trial ….sounds more fun than it is, probably. […]

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13. January 2015

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Votive of thanks

Votive of thanks

Sponsored  It’s hard to know what to say when a child confesses they’ve been awake all night worrying that you’re going to die. So I did what any good parent would do – and lied my head off. ‘Of course I’m not going to die. What a ridiculous idea,’ I blustered, knowing all the while […]

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4. January 2015

14 Comments

The good things about cancer ….

The good things about cancer ….

In the spirit of Being Positive, I bring you my top five advantages of having cancer: 1. I didn’t have to send any Christmas cards. Just in case you’re on my list, and are under the impression that I love writing cards, look away now – I HATE writing Christmas cards. But of course I […]

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24. December 2014

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Dos and Don’ts at Christmas

Dos and Don’ts at Christmas

It’s been a while, what with all the medical stuff – in a nutshell, there’s another operation to get through in January, then that should be IT. There’s no radiotherapy or chemo with melanoma as it doesn’t work, so I might try to get on a drugs trial ….sounds more fun than it is, probably. […]

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1. December 2014

4 Comments

Thank you

Thank you

Thanks so much to everyone who’s been reading and ringing and wishing and commenting. It’s lovely to feel the support. In a way I shall feel I have let you all down if I get the all clear! All that worry and concern for nothing! I’ll feel terrible for stirring up such a fuss. Yes, […]

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13. November 2014

4 Comments

Glass half empty

Glass half empty

I wasn’t brought up in a ‘glass half full’ kind of family. It was more, ‘call that a glass?’ or even, ‘glass? What glass?’. So being told to keep positive is all very well, but it goes completely against the grain. I light, I’ve spent the past two weeks rushing about trying to get Christmas […]

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6. November 2014

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Sponsored video: Barclays and Mumsnet ‘Your Bank Live’

Sponsored video: Barclays and Mumsnet ‘Your Bank Live’ If you had to give mums a list of places it’s fun to visit with toddlers, or children of any ages, then banks would feature right down bumping at the bottom of the list, along with Post Office queues and the dentist. Although it’s tempting to do […]

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4. November 2014

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Wishing well

Wishing well

Up to St Thomas Hospital today to have my pre-op assessment – where they basically check that you are healthy enough to survive surgery. Of course I am. I’m hardly ever ill, and I’m sure that, without this blip, I would have easily reached my eighties. At this point I know I’m supposed to say […]

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31. October 2014

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…and good news?

The scans were clear! Which is a huge relief. And, judging from the expressions of the doctors, a bit of a surprise. So we go on to the next stage … another operation. A bigger one, involving taking 3cm of flesh all around the original melanoma site. And taking out a lymph node and testing […]

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