Ten things I have said since school started:
1. The first day is always the worst. You’ll be back in the swing of things tomorrow.
2. The second day is always the worst. You’ll be back in the swing of things tomorrow.
3. The first week is always the worst. Well, by that I mean the half-term. Or term, actually, now I come to think about it.
4. That skirt is too short.
5. I can see your pants and you’re not even bending over.
6. Yes, if you roll up your skirt ten times, your waist will seem a bit bunchy.
7. Yes, of course I’ll cover your history book in sticky-backed plastic.
8. No, we haven’t got any sticky-backed plastic.
9. Yes, we can buy some on the way home from school.
10. No, I can’t buy it during the day and spare you the pain of the purchase as I am very busy all day long and I have to lie down. Thank you.