An oldie but a goodie ……

March 26, 2010


…..Just to cheer us all up. Particularly me, as my @£$%* computer has been on the blink since Tuesday. And big thanks to my lovely friend S for passing it on.


Dear Tech Support, slowdown in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as AFL; The Ashes; Football and Golf Clubs system. I’ve tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as

Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the

What can I do?


Desperate is an Operating System. download Tears and don’t forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers. default to Grumpy Silence, Happy Hour or Beer.   Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). unsupported applications and will crash Husband. and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.


Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband

Please enter the command: ‘http: I Thought You Loved Me.html’ and try to

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband to

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are

In summary, Husband is a great program, but it does have limited memory

We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,


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  • Metropolitan Mum March 26, 2010 at 9:02 am

    Haha. I could do with a husband that cooks some food in nice lingerie. Hahaha. Have a great weekend! x D

    • Dulwich Divorcee March 30, 2010 at 2:41 am

      Hmmm, hoping your husband got the message and spent the weekend cooking in his most seductive undies! 🙂

  • Trish@ Mum's Gone to March 26, 2010 at 9:04 am

    I think I may need technical support too as the above text is all jumbled up (missing lines are in small font underneath??)
    I do hope it isn’t just me or I’m going to sound like a complete arse!

    • Dulwich Divorcee March 30, 2010 at 2:42 am

      No, it’s not you Trish, my computer is having a major hissy fit at the moment, it needs a stern talking to …..just wait a moment while I kick it …..

  • Hadriana March 27, 2010 at 6:18 am

    Award for you over at mine!

    • Dulwich Divorcee March 30, 2010 at 2:43 am

      Oooh, Hadriana, how lovely to see you and to get an award too! Swooping over chez toi to have a look …..