Just in case you’re wondering, MY &%$#@ WEDDING DRESS ISN’T READY YET!
I shall leave a little space while we all panic a bit.
Yes, you’re right, we need more space than that.
Ok. Deep breaths now.
It turns out the shop, in its infinite lack of wisdom, had decided that my lovely wedding dress should be just about ready for its first fitting on 26th June. Then, after a leisurely session with the measuring tape and pins, it would all be finished some time around the beginning of July, given a fair wind and the right configuration of the constellations.
When I was calm enough to speak, I pointed out that I was ACTUALLY getting married on the 23rd June. That was why that particular date was mentioned several times in blood in the paperwork. It was also why I had been ringing on a regular basis to enquire after the welfare and, more recently, whereabouts, of the dress.
Luckily, we were speaking on the phone, or there might have been some hitting at this point.
Eventually, after increasingly terse conversations with ever more senior members of staff, it was agreed that the dress would be ready for its first fitting this coming Monday, thus giving it a fighting chance of walking down the aisle with me on Saturday, if it plays its cards right. If it fails to materialise on Monday, I’m afraid I’ve got six days to find another frock.
Sigh. It was all going so well up until this point.
I’m dying to name and shame the shop….. let’s see what happens on Monday.