Lady in waiting

July 7, 2009

As I sit here, waiting for those lovely chaps from John Lewis to deliver a new tumble drier, I realise a theme is emerging. I am also waiting for a Tesco delivery, which was supposed to come between 9 and 11.

The time is inching up to 10.47, and Tesco is playing with fire. I am very fickle with my supermarkets these days. I discovered that, if you get a couple of internet deliveries, from any of the big supermarkets, and then stop abruptly, they will start sending you money-off vouchers.

Ocado, being middle-class and, therefore, insecure and needy, begins almost immediately, pelting my inbox with desperate little love tokens (free model of an Ocado van? That is soooo not going to do it, guys. Try chocolate. Lots of it!). If you don’t take pity and give in too soon, it will soon be waving quite healthy reductions at you. Tesco, being big and brash, is less bothered about one-order stands and takes months to realise you’ve even defected. When it finally clocks that you’ve been getting your trolley filled elsewhere, though, it will try and sweep you off your feet with an impressively large voucher. Sainsbury’s I’ve found harder to fathom. I don’t think I’ve ever actually managed to accomplish an order with Sainsbury’s. I certainly did try, a couple of years ago, but I think it either crashed much too soon or simply went on and on forever with the checkout proceedure – both techniques sure to disappoint a girl.

Ah, if Lidl only delivered, then I’m sure I would be a one-store woman. Until then, I’m left to play the field. And wait. And wait!

You Might Also Like

  • Half Mum Half Biscuit July 7, 2009 at 5:50 am

    Ah yes, shopping! There is always shopping…

  • Dancinfairy July 7, 2009 at 6:18 am

    Tesco man came today and tracked his dirty feet through my house. I didn't notice until he was long gone or I would have handed him the hoover!

    Funnily enough, I am sat here wondering if I can dodge the showers and find something that will fit my swollen feet so that I can go to Lidl this afternoon for a browse. Oh and those chocolate biscuits that I love so much I will drive 20 minutes to get a pack!

  • SandyCalico July 7, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    I only do an online shop when I get a voucher from Ocado, and you're right, I don't want a toy van!

  • @eloh July 7, 2009 at 7:12 pm

    I can't seem to join the 21st century and shop on line…sounds like a little attention to what is going on and some good discounts to be had.

  • Suburbia July 8, 2009 at 1:20 am

    I must try the 'modern' way of shopping sometime!

  • rosiero July 8, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    Oh too true. There' nothing so certain to make you defect than when they forget to hand over a few bags and when you ring up to complain that 10 things are missing they say they can't send the van back with the missing items but will just deduct the amount from your bill. Not even a voucher or apology in sight!

  • Ruth July 9, 2009 at 4:16 am

    Hi there,
    I'm writing a feature for Prima magazine about companies paying 'mummy bloggers' for their experience, through free products to roadtest, trips etc. and I see from your excellent piece in The Times, that you rather fit the bill! It would be great if I could include a quote from you within the piece – quoting you as a bit of an expert and an inspiration to other readers. Would it be okay to get in touch to discuss this via telephone or email? My email address is
    Many thanks,
    Ruth Tierney
    Freelance Journalist

  • EmmaK July 9, 2009 at 10:02 am

    I don't understand darling. I thought delivery was for the housebound or people who had a busy job. If you have the time to wait for a delivery shouldn't you just pop to the shop itself or is there some reason like you are having a ton of dog food delivered?

  • Crystal Jigsaw July 10, 2009 at 2:53 am

    Living up here in the sticks of Northumberland, we have only just been granted delivery by ASDA! As far as I know Tesco won't even deliver up this way, it's too far from civilisation! Thing is, I don't really do ASDA. Therefore, have to go to Morrisons, 44 mile round trip.

    CJ xx

  • Not Waving but Drowning July 10, 2009 at 10:11 am

    If only we had John Lewis' in France.

    I miss it so,


  • A Modern Mother July 11, 2009 at 9:31 am

    So, did they make the deadline?

  • gaelikaa July 13, 2009 at 2:12 am

    I'd say they've arrived by now!

  • dulwich divorcee July 13, 2009 at 2:57 am

    HMHB, yes, I thoroughly recommend shopping – and if it's food, you don't even have to feel guilty!

    Dancinfairy, I think these delivery men should come equipped with dusters on their feet. Which are the biscuits you like?

    Sandycalico, a woman after my own heart! I must pop along to your blog and say hello ….

    @eloh, give it a go, it's fun, though I am still recovering from the time I thought I ordered 6 bananas from Tescos and 6 kilos turned up!

    Suburbia, try it, it's definitely more fun than slogging around Sainsbury's ….

    Rosiero, you need to switch deliveries straight away and then wait for them to realise and attempt to woo you back ….

    EmmaK, honestly, sweetie, it is jolly hard work being me. And I can't be expected to schlepp industrial quantities of choccy peanuts through the streets of south London, someone might see ….

    Hi Crystal, given the choice I think I'd go for Asda! I don't think they deliver here, though. There's only one branch of Morrison's in this neck of the woods and it's a bit scary.

    Ah, NWBD, I know, I know – I used to dive into John Lewis like a mother's embrace when I lived Abroad and only visited the UK very occasionally. It's a joy to be back, I tell you …..

    AMM, no they very didn't make the deadline! The chappy was half an hour late and not particularly repentant. He gave me a questionnaire about his lateness and when I handed it back to him he said, no, you keep that, love. Grrrr! I did get a voucher for 5p off petrol, though.

    Gaelikaa, yes, just finished unpacking!!! Sometimes I think it would just be easier to do it all myself, sigh ….

  • ALMOST MRS AVERAGE July 13, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    I must start flirting with the Waitrose site again. I think they've forgotten about me though. Haven't had an offer in months. If I wait a bit longer, they might think I'm a new customer and the offers will start rolling in. 😀

  • dulwich divorcee July 14, 2009 at 6:12 am

    Hi there, Almost – yes, I blush to admit I have also done this, when I've been sent 'new customer' vouchers via Boden, Waterstone or Amazon – they seem fine about you using them even if you're an existing customer!