Revenge of the Scary School Secretary

November 22, 2009

Go on, admit it. You’ve always suspected that the Scary School Secretary, who rules the head teacher, the pupils and the parents with a rod of iron, was about to snap. She sits there all day long, in her dust-coloured cardi, answering the phone in a pinched, hyper-polite voice as though she was a millimetre away from going banana-loopy-doodahs. Well, now she has finally lost it, and this is what it sounds like:




Actually, it’s a recording from a school in Australia that a lovely friend sent me. It’s supposed to be genuine. I sort of hope it is!

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  • Heather November 22, 2009 at 8:06 am

    brilliant, absolutly brilliant! I too hope it was real.

    • Dulwich Divorcee November 22, 2009 at 8:09 am

      Isn’t it fab? So glad you could hear it properly, I had to get the lovely Andy from ADD Creative to put it on the blog for me as it was waaaay beyond my payscale!

  • Kat November 22, 2009 at 8:14 am

    I would love it if this was the answering machine message at EVERY school.

    • Dulwich Divorcee November 22, 2009 at 8:23 am

      Definitely, we should make it a law ….should also have similar at Ikea, doctor’s surgery, dentist, mobile phone companies …

  • Chic Mama November 22, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    Wow! I’m impressed you got this onto your blog!!! I wouldn’t have a clue.
    I’m always scared ringing the school, not because they’re scary but just because….
    Love it!

    • Dulwich Divorcee November 27, 2009 at 8:37 am

      It wasn’t me, it was my clever friend Andy – he is a technical whizz!

  • Insomniac Mummy November 22, 2009 at 8:02 pm



    • Dulwich Divorcee November 27, 2009 at 8:37 am

      Thanks, IM, I do love it!

  • Rosie Scribble November 25, 2009 at 4:17 pm

    That is just BRILLIANT!!!! It love the line that says – “if you want us to raise your child…” Every school should have that voicemail!

    • Dulwich Divorcee November 27, 2009 at 8:38 am

      Yes, I think I would have pressed that option several times a day at some points ….

  • Am I a helicopter parent? | Dulwich Divorcee September 7, 2010 at 4:38 am

    […] to a friend that I’d beaten my own personal best record of 48 hours before bending the school secretary’s ear – I was on the phone literally the minute we got out of the car after pick-up yesterday – […]