Round Robin

December 11, 2009

I popped over to Lulu’s blog this morning at Family Affairs, and read her views on Round Robins. Gosh, she’s had a year. I’m not going to write my own as, like Rosie Scribble, I only say what I can. I sometimes feel I am fenced around with barbed wire, my own as well as other people’s. I have, however, had a long-held ambition to concoct my own antidote to the Round Robin – the Skinny Minny, perhaps? – with all the information your friends don’t include in their cheery Yuletide bulletins and it seems to me that now is the time to unleash it:

Dearest Insert Name,

Well, what a year it’s been! Belinda has done outstandingly well, getting off on a glittering array of charges, including aggravated burglary and assault, all thanks to our splendid new lawyer – well done!  We’re really proud that she’s got nearly 200 hours of that boring old community service under her belt already!  Sweet sixteen indeed.

Meanwhile, we’ve heard a lot of good reports of Tom, who is living under a nearby bridge. Apparently he’s selling some really good sh*t at the moment. We’re hoping he’ll be back when his cardboard box springs a leak. We’re certainly glad we paid for those bassoon lessons, let me tell you!

David’s thoroughly enjoyed the challenge of swearing a lot at the TV in the afternoons, since parting company with his investment bank, and I’ve been loving my new evening job, during the course of which I’ve updated my wardrobe somewhat – who knew red fishnets were so becoming? – and met a vast number of interesting johns chaps.

Sadly we won’t be skiing in Val d’Isere this spring – David says we’re on enough of a slippery slope already and Tom feels he can get better powder in Tooting – whatever that means.

Looking forward to hearing all your news soon!

Skinny x


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  • Rosie Scribble December 11, 2009 at 7:24 am

    Brilliant DD! Thanks for the mention. I love you point about being fenced around with barbed wire, that’s a very good way of putting it. We use to receive a round robin from a friend describing all the wonderful things her family had done throughout the year. Then, when we moved nearer to that particular family, the round robins stopped, probably because we would now know how much of the reality of their year has been left out.

    • Dulwich Divorcee December 11, 2009 at 7:34 am

      I think I’m probably worried that if I started a real one, it would be such a wrist-slasher no-one would ever recover, especially me! Sometimes Pandora’s box is better kept tightly shut ….

  • Vic December 11, 2009 at 8:09 am

    I can’t help feeling that if people were really interested in that news they would’ve picked up the phone/emailed well before Christmas. I know I would have.

    • Dulwich Divorcee December 11, 2009 at 10:54 am

      I think you’re absolutely right, Vic!

  • Family Affairs December 11, 2009 at 10:41 am

    Thanks for the mention too and very good version – would love to send out something like that. Hilarious AND btw loved the piece in Red Magazine – bought it specially! Lx

    • Dulwich Divorcee December 11, 2009 at 10:56 am

      Thanks, Lulu – actually devastated by the pic in Red, must be the worst taken of me in years. Terrible to be so vain but really, the chin/neck/entire face combo was truly ghastly. Just my luck to be snapped on a bad face day! Everyone else looking gorgeous, naturally x

  • Tara@Sticky Fingers December 11, 2009 at 11:38 am

    Loving it when you unleash!
    And you need me to be your official photographer DD – I would never take a bad pic of you. When you’re famous, remember my number and I’ll ‘pap’ you from all your best angles x

    • Dulwich Divorcee December 13, 2009 at 4:10 am

      Hi dear Tara, consider yourself hired, though my best angle at the moment seems to be the darkest corner of a darkened room and fame could be some way off! But when I get there, you’re definitely taking the pics! xxx

  • suburbia December 11, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    Love it!

    (damn cheek of this thing, it refused to publish my comment as it said it wasn’t long enough!! – is this better ‘puter?!)

    • Dulwich Divorcee December 13, 2009 at 4:11 am

      That is very cheeky, Surburbia, sorry about that, I shall have a word with my website maestro (notice the clever buck-passing there) and get it sorted x

  • geekymummy December 14, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    Love it! We had a great letter last year; along side a photo of my rather rotund cousin and her two kids was the caption “Wendy has been enjoying her mothers group meetings at Burger King”.