The Wasteland

Fri, Aug 8, 2008

Divorce

I was going to write a long post about the pain of missing my children. They’re off on holiday with Mr X, and I’m certain they’re going to have a lovely time. But it’s a lovely time without me. Very hard. The trouble is, like labour pangs, it’s either the sort of pain you already know, because you have children, or you don’t – and won’t be able to imagine. There was a cartoon by Steven Appleby in last Saturday’s Guardian (yes, I do read it, whisper it softly in the Village though) which summed it up. The first bunch of frames were about the chaos of living with children – sticky kitchen floor, toxic substances down the side of the sofa, toothpaste on the computer, etc. The last had a man sitting in a pristine flat, alone, with a little caption saying something like: ‘I know where my TV remote control is. But if I have a heart attack, it could be three weeks before they find my body.’ I suppose I feel like that without my little dears. I am empty. I am pointless. Life is bleak. But at least I know that, if I died, it wouldn’t be three weeks before I was found. They’re back in two.

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13 Responses to “The Wasteland”

  1. Lindsay Says:

    Time to indulge yourself methinks! The children will love you more than ever when they return. How about a good loud sing-a-long at the film Mamma Mia?

  2. codename:ella Says:

    Love the blog dulwichdivorcee; keep it up!

  3. tartetartan Says:

    Know the feeling. When my son goes away with my X, I miss him so much – it is just the most horrible feeling.

    As Lindsay has said, no mooching around! Go and have a bit of fun and try not to think about them every five minutes! It’s hard, but it is the only way through it.

  4. Gill - That British Woman Says:

    time to spoil yourself me thinks………….as before you know it they’ll be back…..

    Gill in Canada

  5. countrygirl Says:

    you could pamper yourself but if thats not easy as so alien to hve time on your hands you could invite someone else little dears round to fill your house and choose mum who doesnt get break.she would be so surprised nd you could feel good about the mini brek u providing and may enjoy.just a thought

  6. DulwichDivorcee Says:

    Lindsay, you are lovely – some would say I indulge myself all too much (several hundredweight of choc peanuts were hefted into the house by the Tesco.com man this morning) but you’re right, I could do more …..Codename:Ella, can I say how thrilled I am to have a chap reader? What bliss, though I am sure my domestic travails must be odd reading for a jaunty boy-about-town like you ….Tartetartan, isn’t it the pits? Good healthy walks are called for ….Gill, pampering, yes I like the sound of that ….Countrygirl, hello and welcome, you are so right, but somehow I’m just not sure I’m that altruistic!

  7. Potty Mummy Says:

    I can recommend The Sanctuary DD… Especially because there are no kids there to remind you who you’re missing! (Plus, they do a much less expensive evening visit from 5pm, so it needn’t break the bank to quite the same extent!)

  8. rosiero Says:

    Console yourself with chocolate peanuts. They are cheaper in Lidl too – multi-coloured like M&Ms – I have been eaten dozens of them (packets, that is)!!

  9. tartetartan Says:

    Since my last comment, I hope you have not taken to lying on your sofa watching daytime TV and stuffing your chops with chocolate peanuts from Lidl – come to think of it, that sounds quite nice. If you are, and need a little cheering up, there is a wee something for you chez moi.

  10. Lune Says:

    mmm, we were talking about this kinda thing only this morning,as my friend is struggling with her boy being in Canada with her husband.

    But we came to the conclusion that all the mess and chaos is actually due to the other half not the kids. When he is away things are a lot calmer.

    You do have that consolation I suppose, but I guess it doesn’t make it any easier.

    I say go for the chocolates,

    Anyway, I discovered your blog through Tarte Tartan,It’s great reading. Thank you for sharing and well done on your ‘share the love’ award.

    Lune x

  11. Hadriana's Treasures Says:

    How about catching up on the stack of books you’ve been meaning to read? File the photos in albums which is never done in our household? Catch up on films? When I was single for a while in London it helped me to leave either the radio or the TV on for company. Getting out and about also helped too. One of the fun things my mum did for us when she was away for a week was that she left us a treasure trail in the house (to choccies). Maybe do stuff in anticipation for them coming back?
    Love how you write. Hadriana x

  12. miss hope Says:

    My ex had Casper every other Christmas,I can honestly say it nearly killed me to let him go. Now he stays home, makes a mess, (there are currently ar least 5 teeneagers lolling around my house), collects glasses of mould in his bedroom but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

  13. DulwichDivorcee Says:

    Oooh,PM, you are so right about the Sanctuary, love it there! Rosiero, I agree the Lidl peanuts are v crunchy but the colours worry me, do you think they’re safe? Tarte T, I am bouleverse by your lovely surprise, thank you thank you mwah! Lune, what a treat to meet you and I know what you mean about the other halves …Hadriana, tried the treasure trail to the choccies, unfortunately, I found it first! But radio a fab idea, and thanks for the compliment xx Miss Hope, what I wouldn’t give for a cup of mould! Will pop into your blog if I may