I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I have two favourite phrases in the whole world. They are, ‘I love you,’ and ‘have some free chocolate.’
I’m not entirely sure what my order of preference is, either.
All right, all right, I’m never going to be the second Mother Theresa – but we kind of knew that anyway, didn’t we?
Now that I’ve gone sugarless, people say ‘have some free chocolate’ a lot less to me than they used to, a cause of (not-so-secret) sorrow. Even though I can eat chocolate containing 70 per cent cocoa solids, have you tried it? It’s very hard to get excited about it and it’s definitely even harder to eat a lot of it, though believe me I’ve tried. It’s quite dry, it’s rather bitter, and after about half a bar, I always give up. I’ve tested every known bar of 70 per cent cocoa chocolate now and my favourite is the Lindt Excellence bar, sold in 100g doses. I can eat nearly three-quarters of a bar of this if I’ve had a very bad day.
But this doesn’t mean that I entirely neglect my dear family, who are still seeking out and eating sugar like the hopeless zombie addicts that they are, bless them. So when I was asked to test the new Bahlsen Leibniz range, I said yes. They are sleek and continental biscuits, I would say, with a very high chocolate-to-biscuit ratio, which is definitely what the family is after. Child One and Child Two used to take their Choco Leibniz biscuits to school for their ‘dix heures’ snacks in Brussels, and of course the odd one or two may have passed my own lips in those far-off days, so I know they are delicious. As well as the dark and milk varieties, they’ve now added all kinds of exciting additions to the range, including a white chocolate version with a cocoa biscuit base, and a milk chocolate one with a thin caramel layer, very millionaire’s shortbread.
As you can see, we were showered with biscuits, which caused huge excitement in a house that is a) on the brink of doing A levels b) on the brink of doing uni exams c) containing two smaller children who are just keen on biscuits.
I kept doing my bit for Bahlsen by asking what scores the biscuits were getting out of ten, and which were people’s favourites. Here are my extremely scientific results:
- overall winner – milk chocolate Choco Leibniz
- best newcomer – milk chocolate and caramel Choco Leibniz
- best supporting biscuit – Pick Up! black and white – ‘better than an Oreo’
- lifetime achievement award – dark chocolate Choco Leibniz
Apparently – and this is hard to believe, I know – I can be a terrible born-again member of the food police these days, since seeing the light about the evils of sugar. I think that being able to distribute huge numbers of delicious biscuits to the entire family in their moments of need has somewhat restored me to favour. So many thanks, delicious Bahlsen, for all your lovely biccies. And for saying those very special little words to me.