The words I love to hear

April 25, 2016

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I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I have two favourite phrases in the whole world. They are, ‘I love you,’ and ‘have some free chocolate.’

I’m not entirely sure what my order of preference is, either.

All right, all right, I’m never going to be the second Mother Theresa – but we kind of knew that anyway, didn’t we?

Now that I’ve gone sugarless, people say ‘have some free chocolate’ a lot less to me than they used to, a cause of (not-so-secret) sorrow. Even though I can eat chocolate containing 70 per cent cocoa solids, have you tried it? It’s very hard to get excited about it and it’s definitely even harder to eat a lot of it, though believe me I’ve tried. It’s quite dry, it’s rather bitter, and after about half a bar, I always give up. I’ve tested every known bar of 70 per cent cocoa chocolate now and my favourite is the Lindt Excellence bar, sold in 100g doses. I can eat nearly three-quarters of a bar of this if I’ve had a very bad day.

But this doesn’t mean that I entirely neglect my dear family, who are still seeking out and eating sugar like the hopeless zombie addicts that they are, bless them. So when I was asked to test the new Bahlsen Leibniz range, I said yes. They are sleek and continental biscuits, I would say, with a very high chocolate-to-biscuit ratio, which is definitely what the family is after. Child One and Child Two used to take their Choco Leibniz biscuits to school for their ‘dix heures’ snacks in Brussels, and of course the odd one or two may have passed my own lips in those far-off days, so I know they are delicious. As well as the dark and milk varieties, they’ve now added all kinds of exciting additions to the range, including a white chocolate version with a cocoa biscuit base, and a milk chocolate one with a thin caramel layer, very millionaire’s shortbread.

The white chocolate/cocoa Choco Leibniz - like an Oreo, but classy

The white chocolate/cocoa Choco Leibniz – like an Oreo, but classy

As you can see, we were showered with biscuits, which caused huge excitement in a house that is a) on the brink of doing A levels b) on the brink of doing uni exams c) containing two smaller children who are just keen on biscuits.

Biscuit heaven!

Biscuit heaven!

I kept doing my bit for Bahlsen by asking what scores the biscuits were getting out of ten, and which were people’s favourites. Here are my extremely scientific results:

  1. overall winner – milk chocolate Choco Leibniz
  2. best newcomer – milk chocolate and caramel Choco Leibniz
  3. best supporting biscuit – Pick Up! black and white – ‘better than an Oreo’
  4. lifetime achievement award – dark chocolate Choco Leibniz


A line-up of Leibnizes

Apparently – and this is hard to believe, I know – I can be a terrible born-again member of the food police these days, since seeing the light about the evils of sugar. I think that being able to distribute huge numbers of delicious biscuits to the entire family in their moments of need has somewhat restored me to favour. So many thanks, delicious Bahlsen, for all your lovely biccies. And for saying those very special little words to me.

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  • Addy April 25, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    AS a chocoholic, none of them would last 5 minutes here.

    • Dulwich Divorcee April 27, 2016 at 9:58 am

      There’s not a lot left here even without my help!

  • Clare Taylor April 26, 2016 at 1:43 pm

    Actually I LOVE 70% chocolate. Admittedly it took a little while to get used to the different eating taste, but nowadays I actually prefer it – the milk chocolate version is actually too fatty. I find a cup of tea or even – gasp – a cup of hot water (yes, obviously, I do have the skin of a young girl as a result of that filthy habit) are the perfect accompaniment to dark chocolate. And Lindt 70% is definitely up there, although G&B’s 70% is also a favourite. (And if you like the Lindt 70%, have you tried the 70% with added sea salt? It’s highly addictive…)

    We must get together and talk chocolate some time…

    • Dulwich Divorcee April 27, 2016 at 9:57 am

      Oooh yes let’s talk chocolate definitely! Strangely I haven’t tried the added sea salt Lindt on the grounds that salt is bad for you … strange I know when chocolate itself is such a well-known health food! I will give it a go though I fear that the glass of hot water might be a touch austere, I will stick with my Earl Grey for the moment x

  • Polly April 26, 2016 at 3:10 pm

    ooooh now you’re talking my language – chocolate. I have eaten a ton of it over the years and have the cellulite to prove it. These little beauties are high on my list of favourites, but only the dark chocolate ones. I’m a chocoholic but I don’t like milk chocolate combined with biscuit, it has to be plain chocolate, strange I know. Well done giving up sugar, I have cut down but I couldn’t give up chocolate.

    • Dulwich Divorcee April 27, 2016 at 9:54 am

      Hi Polly, strangely I’ve found it easier to give up sugar completely (apart from 70 per cent choc) than to cut down ….Cutting down involves way too much discrimination and discipline for me! I’m with you on the milk choc/biscuit thing, though I did used to make an exception for M&S Extremely Chocolatey Rounds, they are very good. I think they do a dark version if you are not convinced 🙂

      • Polly April 27, 2016 at 8:05 pm

        I might look out for those. M&S also do the most delicious dark chocolate coated ginger biscuits – divine 🙂

        • Dulwich Divorcee May 10, 2016 at 3:07 pm

          Oooh just bought those for TL but he says he prefers the ones by Borders! I’ll save them for you 🙂