I’ve had a brilliant idea. What about a make-up range for women of a certain age? It could even be called Certain Age. There are already loads of cosmetic brands out there for teenagers – Barry M, Boots 17 and many more which I’m not cool enough to know. Women in their 20s and 30s are also spoilt for choice. But there’s nothing, really, for those of us who no longer want to ladle on Amy Winehouse-style eye gloop but still would like a khol pencil that’s nice and soft and, importantly, in a colour which is going to flatter.
There are a few brands out there which are already well-established and at the more staid end of the spectrum – but I’m afraid I associate them with much, much older women. When I was a teenager, the ladies buying this high-end stuff had buckets more money than I did but, in my youthful eyes at any rate, they were nearly dead. I still don’t want to buy into those brands as a result of this ancient prejudice. Plus they will still sell a woman of my age turquoise shiny eyeshadow. That’s fine, if you want to look like a recently excavated pterodactyl. I don’t.
So my idea would be an upmarket sort of new, lovely brand, aimed directly at me and you – selling nothing that looks rubbish on older skin (so nothing sparkly or pearlescent that’s going to get stuck in our crow’s feet) and offering lots of advice on how to put everything on. Let’s face it, all of us get a bit stuck with make-up techniques that we’ve been using for years. I’m still going for the eyeliner-on-top-lid, quick swipe of mascara and I’m done. I never seem to have time to try anything different, and I’m so used to the current look that I’d probably hate anything new out of habit. But who knows how much better I’d look with a bit of eyeliner under the bottom lid as well?
We’ll just never know, unless someone sets up my dream cosmetic firm. Somebody, do get on with it. Please.