Tartan terrors

September 15, 2010

I don’t know who keeps sending me the House of Bruar clothing catalogue, but I would just like to say a very big thank you. No matter how grey the day, no matter how the hormones may rage at Divorce Towers (and boy, do they rage, with me, two teenage girls and a highly-strung cat on board), Bruar’s unique take on country clothing always has us screaming with laughter.

Take these outfits:

Hmmm, I think I’d cut quite a dash in those at the Argos in Peckham, my destination this fine morning. Or how about:

Yes, ginormous flapping tartan culottes are just the thing for strolling around Dulwich Park.

How about this next one? Here, I can just imagine the male model, Hamish, whispering to his colleague, ‘don’t worry darling, I promise, the moment the shoot is over, we’ll burn those pink moleskin slacks. You can stick a stake in them first if you like.’:

Now it’s over to you. What is the model saying in this picture, as she fingers her riding crop? Do let me know!

* I should say the catalogue is also full of lovely cashmere things and probably all the clothes make a lot more sense if you live in the wilds of Scotland. Snort.

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  • jay (@cosmicgirlie) September 15, 2010 at 5:37 am

    I reckon she’s thinking something that’s just not fit to be left in someone’s comments.

    But maybe that’s just me. *snigger*

    • Dulwich Divorcee September 15, 2010 at 5:43 am

      I kind of think she might be saying, ‘when I get my hands on my agent, I’m going to thrash her to death. I’ll never appear in the Boden catalogue now!’ But I suspect that’s not what you were thinking …..

  • mummy walker September 15, 2010 at 6:48 am

    She’s saying ‘go on Hamish, show me one more time what’s under your kilt, I dare ya’

    • Dulwich Divorcee September 15, 2010 at 7:40 am

      That’s priceless! I think you may well be first in line for the prize ….which is a lifetime’s subscription to the House of Bruar catalogue. Go on, you know you want it ….

  • Jess September 16, 2010 at 3:07 am

    “I can’t BELIEVE she got the culottes I was after. We’ll see about that…”


    • Dulwich Divorcee September 21, 2010 at 5:41 am

      I think you may have just squeaked in with a winner there, a lifetime’s subscription to the House of Bruar is in the post ….

  • geekymummy September 17, 2010 at 11:31 pm

    Hmm, we have the annual Fetish Fair coming up here in SF next week. That last outfit would go down a treat. (rummaging for credit card to order online right now!)

    • Dulwich Divorcee September 18, 2010 at 9:17 am

      Well, Geeky, I admit I’m surprised you’re off to the Fetish Fair ….. but I agree this would be the perfect outfit to go along in x

  • exmoorjane September 21, 2010 at 5:03 am

    Oh god, blushing violently here as confess I have rather a soft spot for that catalogue. I manage to let my eyes skim over those, umm, excesses, and rest on the tartan jackets (for some bizarre reason have always craved a tartan jacket)….maybe I’m still at some subliminal level trying to fit in to country living. Or maybe I just really REALLY need to come back to London. 🙂

    • Dulwich Divorcee September 21, 2010 at 5:41 am

      OMGOD Jane, this is serious! I’ve booked your train ticket and you’re not to touch that catalogue again. Ever! x