Blog Divorce

How to plan a holiday. Not …..

June 21, 2010

It’s holiday time. And I have a very clear idea of how things should be organised:


In January, I spend a happy weekend surfing lovely places to stay. I book judiciously, and soon I have little entries on the calendar for April, a weekend in July, and two weeks in August. I spend the rest of the year feeling smug and I pack a perfect capsule wardrobe a precise two days before each thoroughly enjoyable jaunt.



I spend a weekend in January feeling suicidally depressed, and as a result I book a ruinously expensive holiday in Barbados in April. We go, we get stuck because of the volcanic ash and go a bit native and, because of the sheer loveliness of the holiday, and the great kindness and hospitality of the friend who had us to stay, I come back to the grey UK feeling, ho-hum, a bit down.

To cheer myself up again, I immediately start trying to book the summer holiday. Yippee, I am invited to France for the second half of August by a lovely friend. I consult with Mr X. Of course. He has already earmarked the second half of August. I could shift him, I suppose, but it would be just the latest in a long list of crimes of which I am guilty, guilty, guilty. Sigh. Bye bye lovely friend.

Instead, I make enquiries of a delightful relative we sadly only see once a year. They have a booking schedule which makes George Osbourne’s budget calculations (note the topical political reference! Don’t anyone say I can’t tangle with stuff outside my own head now and again) look like a scrawl on the back of an envelope. Reading their emails literally makes my head swim. Does any of this fit with the few days I have tentatively pencilled into the yawning chasm of the summer holidays? I seriously couldn’t tell you.

Meanwhile, another fab friend asks if we’d like to halve a week in a holiday cottage – we’d only coalesce for one crowded day, but it’s in a lovely area and as it’s only half the normal tarriff, it’s cheap. Yay! But wait a minute, I’ve just got to check with the relatives … of those dates could have been a clasher. Or could it?

And a weekend right at the end of August? Hmmm, that encroaches on Mr X’s time. Hang on a minute while I check with him …..

And a dear friend from Belgium would like to pop in, sometime round the middle of August. Er, hang on a second, we’d love to see you but, erm, where’s my diagram ….

OMG. I need a holiday.

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  • Crystal Jigsaw June 21, 2010 at 3:30 am

    You should just do what I do; don’t have one! Summer hols are going to be more or less spent at home, few days at my mum’s in Manchester but that’s all. And that suits me fine. We’re going to Scotland in October which is our annual family holiday – 5 days in a luxury hotel, and I can’t wait.

    CJ xx

    • Dulwich Divorcee June 23, 2010 at 2:22 am

      Oooh, love the sound of the luxury holiday, how lovely! I would love to abandon the whole idea of the summer holiday but it’s a bit hard on the poor girls while all their friends are off to second houses here, there and everywhere ….. that’s what you get for living in Dulwich xx

  • Heather June 21, 2010 at 4:03 am

    Argh! sounds like a nightmare! We don’t have holidays, not that I wouldn’t love one, we just cant afford them. Every 3 years i go back to the UK for a few weeks, but it’s hardly a holidy, if you know wha i mean!

    • Dulwich Divorcee June 23, 2010 at 2:23 am

      WWth you there – when we used to make the odd trip back to the UK from Brussels it was exhausting – a million friends and rellies to get round. They’re all bored with us now we’re back for good 🙂

  • Martini Mummy June 21, 2010 at 4:14 am

    Good to know that it’s not just me that books the next holiday as soon I get back from one – regardless of cost!

    • Dulwich Divorcee June 23, 2010 at 2:24 am

      Yep, I definitely always need a holiday to get over the last holiday, no question!