Squaring the circle

January 30, 2013

OK, so a while ago, I told you of my sudden passion for all things woolly or, as one of my lovely commentators said, how crochet had got me hooked. Well, a couple of weeks later, I am the proud creator of a crochet blanket.

All right, all right, I know that all of you can already crochet brilliantly and have been able to since you were tots. But still. For me, it’s a big achievement. In fact, it heals a considerable psychic wound. For – and you’re the only people I’ve ever told this, apart from some others – when I was at school, a terribly traumatic thing happened. We had to knit squares for a blanket for ‘deprived’ people in the area. I know, it sounds absurd and just so, so condescending. I don’t know why the school felt it had to play such a lady bountiful role, or why on earth they thought anyone would want a blanket made by snotty schoolchildren. Incidentally, the only ‘deprived’ people we saw in the area were a couple of tramps who hung around outside the station, who would have been much happier with a six-pack of Special Brew any day.

But, misguided though the project was, I was destined not even to take part in it. My squares were considered too horribly misshapen. I just didn’t take to knitting. I found it impossible to count the stitches, and whenever I tried, I found they were multiplying alarmingly, without any obvious help from me. So my squares were actually rectangles, or, sometimes, shamingly, polyhedrons. And the school turned them down.

The tramps, had they seen the horrible lumpy objects I knitted, would no doubt have been thrilled to know they were spared them. But I was rather sad.

So, now, gaze on my crochet squares. Note: they are completely and utterly square! Yay! I’ve come a long way, baby.


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  • Addy January 31, 2013 at 1:49 pm

    Brilliant. My school did the same – knitting diamonds for blankets for local poor people! I wonder whether we went to the same school (HAHGS?)

    • Dulwich Divorcee February 4, 2013 at 11:38 am

      OMG, yes it was HAHGS!! What a coincidence! When were you there, and do you remember Miss Kirby as headmistress? Our blankets were for the Peckham Settlement, not sure whether it is still going or whether it’s suffocated under the weight of all that wool …. I drive past the school sometimes and the playground is full of portacabins, not like our day I’m sure 🙂

      • Addy February 5, 2013 at 4:02 pm

        Miss Kirby was the head mistress all the while I was there and back in the days when it was a grammar school and you went there on merit! I didn’t go to an Old Girls meeting for decades and then decided to pluck up courage to go one year – only a few months before Kirby died. I’m glad I got to see her again. Some of the teachers who looked ancient to me as an 11-year-old, were still alive and not quite as ancient as I remembered them. (LOL)

        • Dulwich Divorcee February 11, 2013 at 10:47 am

          Gosh, I wonder if we coincided at all? I was there from 1975-82, again with Miss Kirby as head all the time …yes, it was a grammar when I went there too, but changed after two or three years (whereupon a lot of the teachers left!). I haven’t been back to a reunion, they seem to be organised by all the bossy people which is a bit off-putting, well done you though for going back! I was fond of Miss Kirby though she seemed terribly shy to me even at the time (when I was incredibly shy myself). I wonder if she actually enjoyed the job.

  • Naomi Richards February 1, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    Well done. it looks lovely from what i can see of it.

    • Dulwich Divorcee February 4, 2013 at 11:38 am

      Thank you, I do feel a bit of a glow of achievement, I must admit. Now doing shoulder bags for 8 year olds, getting a bit obsessed!

  • Susan February 1, 2013 at 9:43 pm

    Well done, perfectly square and not a tramp in sight!

    • Dulwich Divorcee February 4, 2013 at 11:39 am

      Thank you, I don’t think the tramps would be at all impressed but I’m quite proud 🙂