The most gripping radio broadcast since the Abdication

April 7, 2016

It’s a terrible thing to say, and I’m not a violent person, but it’s such a relief that Helen has finally stabbed Rob. Apologies if that’s ruined your enjoyment of the Archers Omnibus on Sunday, but come on, surely everyone knows what happened in the Blossom Cottage kitchen by now.

Rob, who is now hovering between life and death with his terrifyingly loathsome parents at his bedside – a compelling incentive never to wake up, surely – gave Helen the knife and urged her to kill herself. If he hadn’t then turned on her five-year-old son, Henry, then maybe she would have done.

As it is, in the most gripping radio broadcast since the Abdication, she stabbed him three times and has now left him needing a colostomy bag. It’s the absolute perfect come-uppance for this evil, manipulative tyrant, who has spent two years – two whole years – convincing Helen that she is mentally unstable, an unfit mother and fit only to be raped and abused. I didn’t know what the term ‘gaslighting’ meant – now I do.

I wish we didn’t have to go through the whole inevitable investigation, trial and probable incarceration of poor Helen. Hasn’t she suffered enough? And haven’t we? And was I the only person sorely disappointed that Rob was still alive? Meanwhile, the Helen Titchener rescue fund set up by listener Paul Trueman is now raising money to keep the Blossom One free (and help real women in fictional Helen’s position)

I’ve completely given up listening to the Archers as my bedtime story. And I suspect we will all soon be a little tired of the preachy tone of some parts of the BBC as it points people towards counselling services. But this is a cast-iron case of a good story illustrating a horrible truth about the world, bringing it to a new audience, and lifting the rock that horrors like Rob lurk under.

The Archers: Rob gets his come-uppance at long last

The Archers: Rob gets his come-uppance at long last

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  • Addy April 7, 2016 at 3:13 pm

    I’ve never listened to The Archers, but heard all about the furore caused by this storyline. Good on Helen, is what I say.

    • Dulwich Divorcee April 7, 2016 at 3:41 pm

      Oh you should definitely give it a go! I used to turn the radio off as soon as I heard the theme tune but I’m gripped now

  • MsCaroline April 8, 2016 at 7:39 am

    You know, I’ve lived in the UK for almost 14 months now, and I can’t think why it is I *just now* figured out who The Archers are. The sad thing is that I was so inordinately pleased with myself for not only knowing what you were talking about, but also being familiar with the domestic abuse storyline. I’m not sure what this says about me, but it’s probably not anything good.

    • Dulwich Divorcee April 12, 2016 at 2:45 pm

      I disagree, I think it’s not only extremely good but also a sign that you are falling victim to the inexorable charms of bad weather, endless cups of tea, gentle moaning, lots of apologising and a very angsty radio show. You will probably never want to leave now (I see this as an excellent thing!!)

  • Polly April 11, 2016 at 3:49 pm

    Oh my word, I agree with your comments on the vile Rob, I’m not a violent person either but I did do a “yes” when I heard about the colostomy bag. I can’t bear to listen now though because of what is inevitably going to happen to Helen until the truth finally surfaces. I wonder if Jess will give evidence on her behalf. His parents are equally vile and clearly Rob’s behaviour has stemmed from them, and are they now staying in Blossom cottage?

    • Dulwich Divorcee April 12, 2016 at 2:42 pm

      Evil Ursula seems to have moved into Blossom Cottage – I can understand her wanting to get away from Equally Evil Bruce but I also think she may be planning to make sure that Rob gets the cottage in the (inevitable) divorce … I hope Jess will testify for Helen, that would really help. I am still listening but not enjoying it at all!

      • Polly April 12, 2016 at 5:04 pm

        oooh if he gets the cottage I will write a very angry letter to the BBC!!…

        • Dulwich Divorcee April 15, 2016 at 2:30 pm

          Yes it will be the limit if Evil Ursula moves into the village permanently, though I suppose Linda wouldn’t have to look far every Christmas for her pantomime villainess 🙂

        • Dulwich Divorcee April 25, 2016 at 4:16 pm

          Hope you were listening last night when Rob moved back to the cottage – and Ursula seems to have kidnapped little Henry!!!